Why Sadness Feels Bigger Than Happiness: Understanding the Emotional World of a Dyslexic Child

by: Rebecca Griffith, M.Ed., C-SLDS

“Mom, happiness gets this much,” my six-year-old daughter Eloise said, pointing to a small petal on the ground.“And sadness gets this much,” she added, pointing to the larger one.

I stood there for a moment, taking in what she had just said. Such a simple observation, yet such a profound truth about the way we experience emotions.

In childhood – and even in adulthood – sadness often feels bigger than happiness. Maybe it’s because joy is light and fleeting, while sadness tends to linger. Maybe it’s because we’re wired to notice discomfort more than ease. Whatever the reason, it struck me how naturally children articulate the weight of feelings that adults sometimes struggle to name.

For children with dyslexia, this imbalance can feel even more extreme.

Why Do Dyslexic Kids Feel the Weight of Emotions So Heavily?

For kids with dyslexia, the weight of emotions isn’t just about everyday struggles – it’s about how learning challenges shape their self-perception, resilience, and confidence.

Children with dyslexia experience daily moments of struggle. They face challenges that other kids may not—reading that doesn’t come easily, words that don’t make sense, and frustration that builds when they feel left behind.

· More frustration = More moments where sadness takes up space.

· More comparison = More moments where confidence takes a hit.

· More effort = More exhaustion, which makes emotions feel even bigger.

It’s not that happiness doesn’t exist—it’s that when challenges are frequent, sadness feels heavier by comparison.

How We Can Help Balance the Scale?

As parents and educators, we can’t erase the struggles, but we can help our children find more moments of happiness, confidence, and self-worth.

1. Make Happiness Bigger

Dyslexic kids need extra opportunities to feel successful. Find moments to celebrate progress, effort, and creative thinking. Look for areas where your child shines. Help them to discover who they are apart from their dyslexia.

For example, if your child struggles with reading but loves building things, lean into that strength. Let them explain their creations, tell stories about what they’ve built, or engage in hands-on learning that lets them feel capable. Success breeds confidence – and confidence helps them keep going when things feel hard.

A great way to build success is by creating a ‘small wins’ journal. Each day, note one moment where your child succeeded – no matter how small. Over time, they’ll start to see that success isn’t just about schoolwork – it’s about growth in all areas of life.

2. Validate the Hard Stuff

Validating the hard stuff is so powerful: “You’re figuring this out. I love that.” And that’s because when kids (and adults) feel truly seen, their struggles feel more manageable.

And, it’s important to remember that it’s not about trying harder – it’s about working smarter.

When a dyslexic child struggles, it’s easy for them to feel like they just aren’t trying hard enough. But the real key is breaking things into manageable chunks to prevent cognitive overload. If reading a passage feels overwhelming, maybe it’s the long words that need focus. If reading one word feels hard, maybe it’s that they need more work with blends or vowel sounds. If instructions seem impossible, maybe they need to be chunked into smaller steps.

Hard doesn’t have to mean “I can’t do this.” Hard is just a signpost – pointing to exactly where the work is right now. And when kids understand that hard doesn’t last forever, they build the resilience to keep going.

So, instead of, “It’s okay, don’t be frustrated,” which minimizes their reality, first acknowledge:

“Yes – I see this is hard for you,” and then action plan: “Let’s break it down.”

It’s a mindset shift. The learning journey is always going to be messy and challenging at times. But this hard doesn’t last forever. Once you’ve mastered this, it just means it’s time to find where your next work lies. So, what’s your child’s hard right now – and how can you help them break it down?

3. Teach Them That Emotions Change

Sadness feels like forever, but it isn’t. It’s important to take the time to talk through emotions: “You’re feeling sad right now. What’s one thing that made you happy today?” Help them recognize the full range of their emotions, not just the hard ones – because they are all important. Helping kids process emotions in the moment prevents them from building up as hidden stress that resurfaces later. Every emotion has a place. When kids learn to honor both joy and struggle, they develop resilience that carries them forward

Closing Thoughts

Eloise’s petal analogy stuck with me because it’s a reminder that we don’t have to force happiness to be bigger. Instead, we can teach our kids that both happiness and sadness belong, and neither defines them completely.

For parents of children with dyslexia, this balance is even more crucial. We may not always be able to make learning easy, but we can make sure our children feel seen, celebrated, and understood.

How do you help your child navigate big emotions?